KRABI PHUKETTY!

I kinda just got back from my beach getaway in Krabi (KBV) last weekend. And boy there's a lot to tell! There was only me, Sher, my sister Nina and her boyfriend Tom. Since we booked our holiday through a travel agency, everything was well prepared for us. Our flight that Friday was okay, Tom was late so we had to head to LCCT from KLS by cab. It cost RM90 per trip so duit melayang confirm please? We got extra legroom seats on the flight cuz the Air Asia check in staff was just being awesome. Yay!

The flight only took 75 minutes to reach our destination. We met Nen (our tour guide) and another two honeymooners Lis and Lin. Tatau apesal, but one of us got excited pasal ada Dairy Queen in KBV airport. We went to Tesco for lunch, bapk pedas nak mampus. Lidah buaya ke apa diorang nih? Pastu we went to Tiger Cave Temple. It was told that a long time ago, there was a monk who lived with a tiger in the cave. I asked Nen, "So the tiger ate him?". She said "no" and went on with the tour. So I really don't know what's the point of it? Pastu we check in La Playa Resort. Malam tu went lepak at Ao Nang Street. Sumpah jauh gila jalan just to go to Starbucks. We stopped by all the shops there to check on bikini prices. The cheapest I could find was RM35 per set! I got myself a pair, tak mampu dowh, baru first day! By the time we sampai, Starbucks pun dah tutup. Aww.

On the second day, breakfast sangat heaven! We went island hopping that day with the 2 girls and 7 other guys as well who also purchased the same program as us. Honestly I'm gonna have to google all the names of the beaches that we went to. The first island was Poda Island, Yam Sam Island, Chicken Island and the last island I can't recall, tapi the best island ever!! OMG right? Snorkeling was fun but Krabi can't beat Perhentian baby!! Sumpah. Well I wanna visit Phi Phi Island one day. Krabi Part Two anyone?? :)

At lunch, we got to know the other group of guys so we could at least get along. They were alright, a crazy bunch. We planned to have a drink that night. There's this street in Ao Nang, sort of like an alley where pubs macam bersambung. But we ended up talking, some went missing, and had a nice time. Lepak in Tom's room, layan his kinda music which I still kinda don't get. Maybe I will one day, next year maybe, wohoo! Session please?

On Sunday, Nina and Tom headed home. Me and Sher on the other hand, decided to go on a trip with the others to Phuket! With only 1000 baht in hand, it was one great experience! We spent a night at a small resort, 4 girls in a room, each forked out 300 baht! Good to know that the boys had already hired a van for the trip, so save duit sikit :) It took approximately 3hours to reach Phuket from Krabi.

That night, we went to a strip club in Bangla Street. Yeah I thought the Bangladeshis have taken over the street, rupa-rupanya it's the real name hahaha. Anyway, we got in for free (free trial katanya, for an hour!!). We got ourselves some drinks and enjoyed the moment. It was like watching softcore seh. Masing-masing semua muka dah horny gila, cannot go. One of the chicks looked at me and danced seductively, I'm like ookay, ngaum! Ape nih? Nape kau usha daku begitu tajam, cik adik? I must admit, the girls really had great bodies but when they bent over, a couple of them had a dick. But hey, they didn't have cellulite, so screw that. Benci ;P

After "cleansing" our hungry eyes, we went clubbing. Tak tipu, ramai gila babi hot hot masalay. Ramai gila babi. Hot nak mampus. The girls, the guys, semua. Everyone was pretty much wasted that night, had to watch them and the bags. It's quite alright, I was already pancit pun haha. The DJ actually played this song, I've never heard of it before, tapi best nak mampus - it's some techno shit. Ughhh I wish I knew the name of it. The boys mula ah nak shuffle, so I kinda sempat imagining boyfie shuffling seductively with me. Nyaaa rindu :( I never had the chance to talk to him for four days! So it pretty much made me mad and rebellious and grrr nak marah. Rindu yang takleh dibendung lagi.

It wasn't till 4am when the club was closing and we headed back to our hotel. The van would be there at 6 so we wasted the night away playing Truth or Dare, and getting to know each other. This was bound to be a start of a great friendship! :D
It was an awesome experience in Thailand. One the best!

Heading home, I told Billy "You're the first person I want to see when I come home".. and so I did :D

LOLWTFBILLY

Billy: Dua tiga kucing belari
Billy: Nama nak sama si kucing belang
Amber: Nama nak sama? Omg fail.

He's the worst, but that's the best about him :D

ENDLESSLY

Bb,

I never look forward to this day but it happens quite occasionally. How am I supposed to get it over with? It'll be here till the rest of my life. Honestly bb, I truly miss you and I really wish to see you. I can't do it bb. I can't deal without you. I wish I wasn't as clingy bb. And I must admit, missing you isn't at all my favorite thing to do. I'll start thinking how far apart we are and how hard it is to see you. I don't know how to tell myself to be strong. I don't know anymore. I've tried to sleep it through, but the feelings seem to come back and haunt me again. I don't know what else to do. The fact that I can't even talk to you till work ends is just ishh I don't know how to describe. Kenapalah phone awak nak kena rosak bb? I hate this! I wish it's just temporary cuz I don't know how long I can last before I die missing you. Oh joy, there you go popping up on my screen as if you can actually read my heart's signal :) Yeay okay, happy balik!! Apa la, pening la asyik nak kena ada je. Kawin jom bb? I'll be your one and only and hopelessly bb, I'll love you endlessly :')

EXCESS BAGGAGE 5KG

I want to get rid of my excess baggage. I don't need them as they don't bring me any good - don't even give me the warmth that I need at the freezing cold office. It's time for you to go, you little gross stuff! Come to think about it, I can do a lot more if I wasn't as "more to loved" as this. Blah, if that even made sense.

I still think that 48 is the magic number. Can I do it? I don't know, but I will try. I hope them pricks won't start opening their mouth. They did, semalam. I wasn't hungry, and they made that face. What's wrong with having dreams? And what's even wronger if I do it instead of just having that talk over and over? Screw you haters, I will accomplish this goal. I'll prove it to you!

If I reach 48, I will treat myself with the gift of a lifetime. I'll get myself a watch without having my imaginary rockstar boyfriend to get one for me! Would be nice having a rockstar boyfriend, nak pape sure dapat. Haha gila sad, and God knows the last time I wore a watch. I was in Bali then, I saw the pictures. I never wore it since. I wonder why...

If I reach my forty-eight, I will:
1. Get my navel pierced.
2. Go on a holiday
3. Get "the M-word" <--- If you're Faiez, please click. No hidden meanings. Hahaha. I wanna have a body as hot as this chick's that I just googled named Elly. She's one hot mama. She's even hotter than my luscious vampiress Tila. But can I? Billy tak bagi give up, nanti dia marah. He wants me to succeed. He dared me. So wish me luck please? I need this done by New Year's Eve.


Note to self:
NO MORE EXCUSES

CANTIK

Beauty is indeed subjective right?

I hate it when people be all like "You sangat cantik, macam Nina!" Omg like, I don't even know whether to take it as a compliment or not. How should I respond to that? Does that mean that I'm cantik second grade? Or cantik tapi Nina-type kinda cantik? I mean why the hell would anyone wanna put Nina as a benchmark? It's not that I'm pissed about. Cuz for one, I don't wanna be "cantik macam Nina". I have my own version of "cantik", and Nina's cantik-ness is not the kind of cantik I prefer. And I certainly don't wanna be pretty like her. I hate pretty. It's just too much effort.

Now I'll provide you with a solution. Instead of going on saying that someone is cantik macam *insert nama adik/kakak here*, I would appreciate it if you just not compliment at all. Some people don't feed on them, and I know I don't. I don't want you to do my boyfriend's job by complimenting me. Break tak makan bro.

Think I'm good for now.

WHEN SECRETS REIGN

Everything is just so perfect the way it is, till one of us starts keeping secrets. Don't you know that secrets can kill? And if I did something, wouldn't you like to know too? What's the point of having a relationship, where only one tells and the other listens without a word? I wanna be able to listen too. I've told you too much, I know. You make me feel like I'm still a total stranger to you. I don't even know you anymore, maybe at all. I do sometimes need to feel secured. I like to know things; things that bother, things that hurt. I don't like being left not knowing the things I should. Open up your heart and tell me. Feed me. Please.

PUNCH HIM PLEASE

The reason why I was so disturbed is because I never thought a total asshole could be a total sweetheart, verbally. I never thought someone so celupar would actually have so many hidden meanings behind those nasty words. As you already know baby, I don't get angry for long. When a new door opens, the anger just shuts in. Yes, I'm like that. That's when forgiveness arrives.

And to be honest, I'm the type who actually forgive and forget. I never want to remember all the bad things that people have done to me, mentally or emotionally. That's why I thought it wouldn't hurt if I talked to him in the first place. When he came up with words so perfectly structured, tipulah if I say that I didn't feel a thing. But that doesn't mean I'm going back into that shithole again, not in a billion years. No, there's never been a glimpse of need for me to do so. And I'm so emotionally stranded in this ecstasy, and I love it so much baby - and it is truly because I have you with me.

And please understand, that even if this hurts you, it hurts me even more watching myself dissolve in ignorance. But I have to be honest - knowing that I'm still appreciated by someone, even if he's a total asshole, I feel so good about myself. And it feels even better rubbing it in his face. Maybe one day you'll realize that those nasty things he said, have really opened up my eyes making me more alert and aware of my impact on someone.

And I'm sorry if this just can't reach your mind baby, maybe this is too deep to understand by the human mind. And I just want you to know that your happiness does matter and whatever happens, watching you happy is what I want to see. And I do miss you, and words alone just can't describe the feeling inside. It's just beyond orgasm whenever I have you around, that actually lasts longer than a year. It's true - if you think I'm a pervert, imagine what your existence has done to me. Hahahahaha oh boy ;)

WHAT IF...

What if one day, you wake up getting a call from someone, only to inform you that I just died in my sleep? To tell you that my soul didn't make it back to my body. What if I leave you alive. What if one day, I'm not here anymore? And what if that day is today?

Will he make me the luckiest bride?

Or will he just leave my side?

CHI ♥ BILLY

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- Elizabeth Barrett-Browning

Happy first anniversary my love, my dearest Muhammad Faiez bin Daud.